The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
