Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize