Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
