I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
