____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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