You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
tell your sister to shave her snatch
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
