The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
