i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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