your thong is hanging out like whoa
I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
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Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
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If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
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