Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
babies were throwing up all over the place
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
