I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
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