evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Randomize
