I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
