Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
