If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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