Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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