somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
