She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I'm jealous of your bromance
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
i think i have two assholes
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
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