yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
