suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I miss vodka workout Fridays
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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