I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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