id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
