It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
50% drunk capacity currently
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
