he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
