Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize