Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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