dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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