Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
