thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
