I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize