I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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