so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Randomize
