Me. At least after what I've been through.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
