The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
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