This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
You're a waste of cheezeits
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
