halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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