you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
