Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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