New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
