I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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