Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize