I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
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This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
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