you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
