sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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