nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
