you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize