So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
