Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
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