Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
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Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
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I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
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