This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
