I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
