so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Oh god it's open bar.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
