Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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