Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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