wanna go halves on a baby?
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
high people should be assigned attendants
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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