I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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