ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Randomize
