What a fucking waste of an outfit
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize