hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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