piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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