you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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