Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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