Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize