there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
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